It was 1 of those “good news, bad news’ sessions.

The good news?

After reviewing 30 years of my medical history, he discovered that there was “nothing wrong with me physically”.

YES, you heard that correctly!

YES, I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia Syndrome and Chronic Fatigue (CFIDS). So, how is possible that with so much muscle pain, so much exhaustion, there could be nothing wrong with my body?

It’s simple really.

Very recent research into the mechanism by which Fibromyalgia operates suggest that it is due to a dysfunction of the Central Nervous System (CNS). That means the problem is in the brain, not the body.

Therefore, as I understand it, the myriad of symptoms experienced by Fibromites are the result of CNS problems.

Here’s how that news has freed me up.

If there’s nothing wrong with my muscles — well, other than the fact that 14 months in bed have atrophied them to some degree — then there’s really nothing preventing me from doing stuff. Stuff like walking, hiking, running (except I don’t DO jogging), making love (except I don’t have a lover).

So, for the past 2 weeks, I’ve hiked my butt out of bed first thing in the morning. And, gone for a walk.

When I first started I could walk  for 1/2 an hour and travel 6 blocks. Now, I walk for an hour and travel 30 or more blocks. YIPPEE!

I’m pumped!

Morning walks have been an integral part of my Spiritual / Creative Practice. For it’s on these walks that I have the alone time I need to ponder, mull, and compost ideas. And, to dialogue with God Within Me.

Starting my day this way is critical because it gets me calm, centered, and focused on what’s important. And, because it connects me to Spirit.

I’ve noticed important improvements in my life. For example, on the weekend I drove to the foothills west of Calgary and hiked in the wind.  Why is that a big deal? Because normally — whatever normal is — wind provokes massive pain. And, it didn’t! YIPPEE!

What’s the bad news?

Tune in to the next post to see why the bad news is really good news.

One of the biggest is the sheer unpredictability of it. For example, 2 days ago I was able to hop in the car and drive to and from the Town of Canmore, to have lunch with my daughter. Being able to drive 2 1/2 hours round-trip doesn’t sound like much. But, for me it’s a major accomplishment. Normally, when I travel to the mountains I have to space my driving out over 2 days: driving to my destination 1 day and returning a day or 2 later.

What was even more astonishing was that fact that it was incredibly windy. Normally wind gusts provoke pain but not that day.

Yesterday was a whole different story.

The winds started blowing around noon and my ‘friend’ pain paid a visit. Pain is a ‘friend’ in the same way that a woman’s monthlies are a friend.

Over the course of the afternoon the pain ramped up until I could barely walk. The problem was that I was on the other side of the city, about 40 kilometers and a 1/2 hour drive from home base. Gritting my teeth, literally and figuratively, I drove home and collapsed into bed.

Why  bed? Well, quite simply when the pain becomes off the scale the only ‘treatment’ is sleep. Luckily I can sleep even when in excruciating pain. Many Fibromites can’t.

I slept for some 11 hours and crawled out of bed at 6:30 today. Emphasis on crawled.

Because I am in the high phase of my SAD I can operate in spite of the pain. It’s called COPING.

When severe pain strikes I am forced to go to Plan B … or even Plan Z.

I had planned to do some copywriting today. But, that requires too much creativity, too much inspiration. And, my inspiration gets blocked by the pain.

So, I have to find other things with which to distract myself.

Why distract?

Because 1 of the ways to deal with pain is to distract oneself. 1 way I do that is by writing … but not creative writing. Somehow, I am able to blog but I can’t seem to do creative writing. But, then when I am depressed I can teach workshops but I can’t market them. I guess creation just requires too damn much energy.

Other ways I distract myself include Facebooking, Twittering, reading blogs, watching videos, IMing, and  talking on the phone.

Another strategy I’m going to implement is 1 I used 28 years ago when I was clinically depressed. You can probably imagine how little get up and go 1 has when depressed. So, what I came up with was a check list of things I could do when depressed. Naturally, I created the list when I wasn’t depressed. I kept it in the top drawer of my desk at work. And, whenever I was really, really depressed I haul it out. I’d look at the list and see what ‘task’ on the list I thought I could manage to do.

So, I’m adopting the same idea now. I’m going to create a List of things I can do when I’m in pain.

Then on days like today I don’t have to THINK about what I can do, I just look at the list and pick something.

FIRST thing on my list will be, of course, TAKE A NAP!

Copyright 2010 Lyle T. Lachmuth  All Rights Reserved

Crud, I so love listening to the news on my radio — NOT!

It’s not like I wasn’t already feeling mucho stressed — which I KNOW because my Fibro pain has returned … and with a vengance!

So, on my walk this morning I got to thinking about what was stressing me. I was just ‘delighted’ to identify SIX separate stressors. Then it occured to me after I got back from my walk, that it would be useful for me to share my approach to reducing the stress that’s escalating my pain.

So, over the next few days I’m going to write about how I’m dealing with those 6 stressors: in the hope that my tactics will help you.

What’s the FIRST step to Reducing Stress?

Step 1: Know When (and how much) You Are Stressed

How could it be possible that YOU might not know you are stressed?

Well, ya see, each of us manifests our stress in different ways and sometimes we exhibit stress differently at different times.

For example, when I first experienced significant stress — which, ironically, was during the last huge, mofo economic recession in 1982 — I reacted to the stressors in my life by becoming Clinically Depressed.

Up until then, I’d never been really sick. Sure, I’d had the flu, some colds, but I’d never experienced a major work outage. Suddenly, work sucked big time! I could barely drag my butt into work. In fact, the new position I had just started — which I had created — I was starting to HATE.

It wasn’t till I met with a psychologist that I began to understand that my depression was due to stress. So, I began to do extensive research into stress and stress management techniques.

Little did I know at the time, that I would spend years learning how to better deal with stress. And, that my work would evolve into a coaching practice that involves, among other things, helping creative professionals deal more effectively with stress.

So, HOW do you KNOW when you are stressed?

Get the hell out of your head and into your body!

Yes, I know your body hurts! Mine sure as hell does. I know the last thing you want to do is FEEL THE PAIN MORE!

Trust me. Feeling INTO the pain will: a) give you some important clues about WHAT is stressing you and b) will actually reduce the pain — eventually.

When I finally SURRENDERED to the massive pain I was feeling in my hips and shoulders I then began to connect to the actual stressors that were contributing to the pain. Ya see, I had thought that there were only 2 things stressing me. As I felt the pain, and listened to it, it told me about ALL the things that were pressuring me.

So, the first step to reducing your stress is to know WHAT is stressing you and HOW MANY things are stressing you. And, you do that by moving into your body, into the pain, taking a breath or six, and listening to what the pain has to say.

NEXT — Step 2: Prioritize Your Stressors

Well, for those of us whose chronic pain orginates from childhood sexual abuse; I’d say EVERYTHING!

We’ve all heard about the Body/Mind thing. We’ve all heard about the Mind/Emotion thing. We’ve all heard about the Mind/Spirt thing. But, few of us (well at least me) seldom heard about the SEXUAL thing.

What do I mean?

Early on in therapy I learned that there is a BIG connection between the Mind and the Body. Through Cognitive Therapy I began to change the way I thought and the way I talked to myself. This helped mitigate my depression.

As I read hundreds of Self Help books I began to see the connection between Body / Mind and Emotion. Then came a 4th dimension: Spirit. I’ve long been a spiritual seeker but only in the last 15 or so years have I explicitly explored spiritual beliefs that are non-Christian.

So, up until recently my understanding was that the parts, or pieces, or aspects of our beings that intertwined and interacted with each other were just 4: Mind, Body, Spirit, Emotion.

Then I began to do some relationship work with my best friend Bill Astalnok who is a Certified “Body Vibrance” Coach. I was surprized to learn that the model which underpins Body Vibrance work is 5-fold.The added element being SEXUAL.

As I began to think about that it made a lot of sense. After all, sexual abuse victims have Tribal wounds; wounds that lodge in the 1s Chakra.

And, all the Cognitive Therapy in the world will not touch or release the Trauma stored in our sexual organs.

So, 2 years ago I sought out a local Tantric Coach to help me free up my sexuality. Unfortunately, I got sick … probably because I wasn’t then ready to really DO the Work.

Now though, I believe I am ready!

So, starting next week I’m going to be doing some Tantric Healing work.

My goal is to heal the pain of sexual abuse and to free up my creative, Kundalini energy.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

I am thinking that I may need to drop my dosage of Effexor.
But, first I am going to cut out doing my light therapy.

Man my brain is racing but my body is tired. Used to be that
I could go for days on only 3 hours of sleep. Now the old body lets me know
right away just how unhappy it is.

That racy brain, tired body feeling is crazy making. It must
be like the mixed moods of Bipolar Affective Disorder: manic and depressed at
the same time! Who hoo!

It was nice to walk back from the service station with the
temperature at 0 Celsius (32 F). But, man some of the sidewalks are icy.
Homeowners who don’t shovel their sidewalks should be spanked at the very
least. I had to cross the street to find an ice free sidewalk and nearly got
run over by some yahoo speeding. People in this city are in too much of a
hurry.

The challenge today will be to figure out how to stay
focused; and to actually get something done.

I’m trying the timer method: 30 minutes to write and post
this, for example. And, ignoring the email arrived signals Gmail sends. Turning
the radio off to reduce stimulation. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath
to regain focus. Stretching my neck and upper arms every few minutes when I
notice them, which is usually when my eyes are closed.

Wow. This only took 13 minutes to write. Now to post it and
then on to private reflections.

That happy event took place because of, at least, three things.

1. Less pain
2. More energy (mainly psychic although the physical IS important)
3. A new strategy

The first two things are pretty obvious. So, I want to focus on the new writing strategy.

But, before I do that I just want to make the observation that it took 9 months to come up with this idea. That gives you some idea of how stupid-making Fibromyalgia can be. My brain was like a V8 firing on 2 cylinders. Couple that with very little 'up' time and you have a recipe for not getting much accomplished.

Okay, back to the strategy.

The germ of the idea came to me the other day when I was thinking about Twitter. You can read about the Twitter concept here. Twitter limits Tweets (your message to the Twitterverse) to 140 characters.

I've been yearning to write for months. Suddenly when thinking about Twitter I had an idea: What if I set a limit for myself of writing a 140 word newsletter? Then, today, I thought: What if I aim to write AND publish it in an hour?

So, I gave it a shot! And, IT WORKED!

I'm so excited!!

And, I'm going to try the strategy again by applying the principle to writing my blog posts.

Today illustrates one of those 'evil' principles of dealing with Fibro. Namely, what helped before may not help today.

A lot of times if I soak in a very hot bath (with Epsom salts); that soaking seems to trigger an end to the pain.

Not today though. In fact, I had two good long hot soaks and the pain has stayed steady at the top of the pain meter.

And, that's just one of the frustrating things about this condition … never knowing if a remedy will work or not. So, I just have to give it a try and see what happens.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll just flop in the recliner and distract myself with a movie.

Does the "Monster" take up residence behind your eyeballs?

You know the one that whispers in your ear.

Dis-couraging advice like: "Why bother?" "Give it up! You”ll never succeed." "Nobody wants your talents." "Why don’t you just jump…"

I don’t remember where I first heard this advice, but it’s a damn good. Apparently, folks attending Al-Anon meetings are told to remember the acronym H.A.L.T. Why?

Because, when you are H – hungry, A – angry, L – lonely, or T -tired you will be more susceptible to dis-couragement… to the "Monster" behind your eyeballs.

I know whenever I’m tired I get very dis-couraged and down on myself.

So, when I hear those dis-couraging words I tell Monster to "SHUT UP!"

Or, I find something I enjoy doing, like Blogging, and I do it!

Tags: Pain Relief

SUPPORT 

Each of us
Is alone
And
Yet not.

 None but us
Lives inside
The body
And
The mind.

 None other can
know, taste,
savour the fear, terror,
happiness, delight,
and ecstasy.

 Pale empathies
We share.
Yet, living inside,
Alone
Yields not
Completeness.

 In Truth
We are islands.
We alone choose
Insular status
Or
Construct bridges,
Causeways,
And, paths to others.

 Connections are made
Not from one
Rather the reaching
Out of two.

 You will always
Be an  island.
But need not
Alone entirely be.

 It is but for you to choose.

© 1987 Lyle T. Lachmuth

Tags: Pain Relief

Hurts like freakin hell.

Doc, says (this time) could be Sciatica. Swell, that’s diagnosis 4 1/2.

Didn’t take the good drugs on the weekend… ran out.

Man oh man, ya appreciates drugs when ya don’t got em.

Just off the phone with my favourite clinical pschologist Dr. Karen Shue. Karen’s one of the people most responsible for me getting back my health.

Talked about my notion that the pain is psychogenic in origin. And, about my plan to move ahead with a dialogue with the pain.

Instead, she suggested an interim step.

Sit with the pain.

That is, just experience it, feel it, see what happens. It will subside just from ’sitting with it"

I’m not the patient type. But, the pain is severe so I know something important is going on

So, I shall sit.