Category: Musings

Sep182013

A Work In Progress

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What do you call a project that is 365 days late and $ 300,000 over budget? A typical systems project.

When I was a Systems Analyst — Yes Virginia, I got IT skills — at Imperial Oil Limited (Exxon North) we faithfully followed the Pied Piper of Project Management so we could avoid becoming victims of the Ninety-Ninety Rule.  

That’s where I find myself today. How do I mark THE END? Afterall, I optimistaclly/foolishly thought I’d be finished my recovery by August of 2011.

That’s why I have decided that my next birthday, which marks the 3rd anniversary of my car crash, will mark the official end of my recovery.

Yes, I KNOW … Dr. Shelagh Coutts, the trauma neurologist assigned to my case, said, “Lyle you will keep on recovering brain function.” And, Dr. Richard Buckley, MD, Head of Trauma Surgery, said, “Your ankle basically works. But, it can be improved. You can either get orthotics for your ankle or I can operate.” I chose the orthotics because I was afraid not of the surgery but of the bloody recovery process. So, I still limp but the ankle WORKS.

Yes, my PTSD is still affecting me but it’s much less severe thanks to EMDR treatments from Hypnotherapist, Lynn Lambert, MSW, RSW. And, for the foreseeable future I will be meeting with my therapy team — Dr. Lawrence Marcus, MD,  Psychiatrist and Laura Siewick, Registered Psychologist — of the NW Community Mental Health service. Finally, I’m likely to ‘graduate’ from the Calgary Pain Centre by next September.

So, how will I mark this significant occasion? Together with my family, likely the weekend of the Canadian Thanksgiving.

We intend to hike somewhere in Kananskis Country but I know not where. The flooding in June 2013 washed out a number of bridges. We may have to go elsewhere.  Fortunately, Southern Alberta is blessed with many hiking trails.

I’m thinking about what I want to do.

Any suggestions for me as to how I can memorialize my recovery? Best suggestion wins 1 hour of Spiritual Life Coaching.

 

 

 

Dec172012

Death Pays A Visit

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I do not fear death.

Yet, death dogs my heels. Of course, since Death is the final outcome of life.

I used to believe in eternal life: the notion that I would return after death and forever live on a refurbished planet, watched over by a benevolent God.

I am not sure what I believe anymore. But this I know … I will indeed live forever as part of the energy of the universe. I do not know, if like a ghost, I will be able to communicate with my loved ones. I do not know, if I will be even “concious” of that which is beyond me.

I lived through and beyond a horrendous car crash. That crash and the ensuing recovery changed me forever. I do not fear death.

Maybe in my coma I visited Death’s Kingdom. I do not know. For I remember nothing of my time in ICU.

I only know that after, or sometime during, my 2 months in hospital I do not fear death.

Yet, I am so smitten with grief at the passing of 2 people  in my circles: one, who I never met, except he was obviously in love with my favourite cousin as she was with him; and, two, my good friend Sylvia Rae, 29 years a part of my life.

If I do not fear death. Why the grief?

I guess because I greedily want them still in my life.

But, I know eventually I will think of them without it hurting so god damn much.

OH! And, Cousin Kenny I am still looking for the answer to the question you asked me on your death bed. I think of you often and qoute your sarcastic epigrams.