Beyond the Pain

I just received a piece of writing advice: “You can’t think your way out of a writing problem, you need to write your way out of a thinking problem.” Herewith submitted for your approval the poem that resulted from that advice.

The clock ticks.

Counting away

the seconds
Till the end
of me
and
my infernal
plans.

In the blink

of my lonely eye
there exists
a momentary
scintilla of
the absolut essence
of my dreams.

The Stygian depths

of my dreams
Go unplumbed,
Unrevealed,
Unwept,
Unsung,
by even me.

For to reveal

to unmask
the real me
would be to
expose
that gaping wound
that is the very
essential
me.

Copyright 2013, Lyle T. Lachmuth, All Rights Reserved

What do you call a project that is 365 days late and $ 300,000 over budget? A typical systems project.

When I was a Systems Analyst — Yes Virginia, I got IT skills — at Imperial Oil Limited (Exxon North) we faithfully followed the Pied Piper of Project Management so we could avoid becoming victims of the Ninety-Ninety Rule.  

That’s where I find myself today. How do I mark THE END? Afterall, I optimistaclly/foolishly thought I’d be finished my recovery by August of 2011.

That’s why I have decided that my next birthday, which marks the 3rd anniversary of my car crash, will mark the official end of my recovery.

Yes, I KNOW … Dr. Shelagh Coutts, the trauma neurologist assigned to my case, said, “Lyle you will keep on recovering brain function.” And, Dr. Richard Buckley, MD, Head of Trauma Surgery, said, “Your ankle basically works. But, it can be improved. You can either get orthotics for your ankle or I can operate.” I chose the orthotics because I was afraid not of the surgery but of the bloody recovery process. So, I still limp but the ankle WORKS.

Yes, my PTSD is still affecting me but it’s much less severe thanks to EMDR treatments from Hypnotherapist, Lynn Lambert, MSW, RSW. And, for the foreseeable future I will be meeting with my therapy team — Dr. Lawrence Marcus, MD,  Psychiatrist and Laura Siewick, Registered Psychologist — of the NW Community Mental Health service. Finally, I’m likely to ‘graduate’ from the Calgary Pain Centre by next September.

So, how will I mark this significant occasion? Together with my family, likely the weekend of the Canadian Thanksgiving.

We intend to hike somewhere in Kananskis Country but I know not where. The flooding in June 2013 washed out a number of bridges. We may have to go elsewhere.  Fortunately, Southern Alberta is blessed with many hiking trails.

I’m thinking about what I want to do.

Any suggestions for me as to how I can memorialize my recovery? Best suggestion wins 1 hour of Spiritual Life Coaching.