Beyond the Pain

I belong to an online group for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered professionals.

For what it’s worth I think I’m the only so-called straight person there.

Recently, I asked about the whole "coming out" issue. "Why", I asked, "is there such a big foo fra when a celebrity comes out?"

The answer can be summed up this way: "Those who are GLBT suffer a great deal from suppressing who they are. Coming out, both frees them and sets a pattern or model for those who are still trapped in pain. Pain? Yes, pain: psychic, emotional, spiritual, and physical because they keep all that SHIT inside."

Coming out by celebrities validates the whole notion that it’s OKAY to let people know who you really are.

It occured to me then that many of us have issues with COMING OUT.

For example, in the late 80s and early 90s I suffered with stress and angst around COMING OUT as a "Recovering Fundamentalist".

Now, I want to formally annouce my COMING OUT as a the adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

There! I said it!!

Feels good.

More to come (pardon the pun).

Abe Maslow,
famous for his Hierarchy of
Needs, defined our ultimate need: Self Actualization as follows, “Being free of the good opinion of others!”

I like that phrasing.

People – well meaning, caring – people are always suggesting
– sometimes pushing ‘cures’ at me!

Look folks! I know you think you have the answer.

And, maybe you do.

But, god damn it! This is my freaking life.

And, I will resist your good intentions.

It’s not that I don’t want help.

It’s that I have lived with this mofo condition for 11
bloody years now.

And, fixing the freaking thing is MY responsibility.

And, I will do it at MY pace!

And, My way!

So, when you suggest that I should:

· Start taking massive doses of Vitamin Z,

· Get Rolfed,

· Or Whatever….

I will Thank You. Take note.

And, give it shot when I’m bloody well ready to.

Not before.

And, maybe never!

Got it?