Beyond the Pain

I'm in a funny space.

But then that's how it often is during the swings between pain and no pain.

The last two days have been horrendously painful, as they often seem to be after my acupuncture treatment.

Now the pain is dropping and as I've dropped my pain-freed-up brain starts going ADD-like.

I want to write but what should I write.

Seem to have written a lot about the negatives of this condition … but then lately there's been a lot of pain. But, part of my brain is prodding to be positive and write positive. Must be my Inner Polly Anna nagging. But, I can't think of anything postive at the moment.

My coach and I talked about this the other day. How fast we, especially I, can judge the experience rather than just experiencing the experience. I loved what she said (paraphrase), "Be in the swing. It just is!" I think that's true but man it IS tough to do.

However, I will focus on the positive. So, what's one positive thing about this illness?

Well. I've found out who my real "friends" are. You know the ones who stick with you through thick and thin. And, me canceling lunch 8 times because of last minute pain flare ups. And, postponing coaching sessions. And, just being so bloody unpredictable.

So thanks Brenda Collins, Alex Brown, Steve S., Tafline Lachmuth, Todd Porter, Joyce Tutty, Ruth Lachmuth, Ed Lachmuth, Lynn Lambert, Barry Morris, Trisha Cupra, James Huggins, Jenifer Hofmann, Clarence Thomson, Matt Lachmuth, and all the folks from the Tent whose names I can't remember at the moment, for your support, advice, encouragement, and understanding.

I just had one of the worst days of pain in recent memory.

It sucked!!

Rain. Cold. Damp. Wind. Almost guaranteed to bring on pain. And, they did.

It was a shitty, cold, damp day yesterday.

And, I was in pain all freaking day.

Here’s what I going to do to ‘ensure’ this pain doesn’t continue.

One, I’m adding a new item to my daily Walking practice.

Each day, just before I finish my walk I will ask myself, "What will I do for myself today?"

The second thing I’m doing is this: Every Monday I will go through my calendar and block off AT LEAST 3 ME TIMES!

For example, I marked off 3 2-hour periods of time this week that are reserved JUST FOR ME!

I don’t know yet what I will do.

BUT, I do know what I won’t be doing.

I won’t be spending the time on anything or anyone else!

It’s MY TIME!