Beyond the Pain

So, the leg is acting up…

Hurts like freakin hell.

Doc, says (this time) could be Sciatica. Swell, that’s diagnosis 4 1/2.

Didn’t take the good drugs on the weekend… ran out.

Man oh man, ya appreciates drugs when ya don’t got em.

Just off the phone with my favourite clinical pschologist Dr. Karen Shue. Karen’s one of the people most responsible for me getting back my health.

Talked about my notion that the pain is psychogenic in origin. And, about my plan to move ahead with a dialogue with the pain.

Instead, she suggested an interim step.

Sit with the pain.

That is, just experience it, feel it, see what happens. It will subside just from ‘sitting with it"

I’m not the patient type. But, the pain is severe so I know something important is going on

So, I shall sit.

If you’ve been following along these last 13 days, you know that I somehow ‘injured’ my left leg.

I put injured in quotes for a couple of reasons.

One, none of the medical professionals I talked to really knew what was wrong… or what happened… or why.

Two, something I read yesterday, causes me to believe that the problem is psychogenic in origin.

You’ll recall that some weeks ago I recommended John Sarno’s book The MindBody Prescription.

Well, yesterday, I travelled out of town. I took the 6 a.m. flight to save some money and got to the meeting site 2 hours early.

What a great thing to do! No one bugging me. No siren song of e-mails. Time to relax. And, catch up on reading.

Managed to finish Sarno’s book.

What struck me as I read were his comments about how Tension Myositis Syndrome often shows up in a new place… when the old spot has been ‘dealt with."

I recently reported many days free of major, crushing pain.

Now, all of sudden, pain in the left hip and leg.

Coincindence?

I thought not. But, reading Sarno confirmed my  suspicion.

So, what did I do?

Sarno suggests simply "shouting" at the pain. Driving it away.

I think there’s more value in a dialogue.

So, this morning I had a dialogue with the pain on my left side. By the way, Louise Hay, in her wonderful little book, "Heal Your Body", reminded me that the Left Side of the Body represents "Feminine energy".

That’s significant for me, as I experience my Muse as Feminine. And, the plans I set on Saturday, January 14th called for me to begin expressing my Muse, even more. Then ‘suddenly’, on Sunday, I have pain in my left leg (Hay says legs represent moving ahead).

No coincidence, I think. For all these reasons, I decided a dialogue with my pain was critical.

Here’s how the dialogue went:

Me: What are you trying to acheive?

Pain: Slow you down!

Me: Why?

P: So you’ll do the right thing: take care of yourself.

Me: How?

P: You need to start swimming again [A lapsed practice]. Rest. Take it slow.

Me: So, what do I need to do today? Now?

P: Don’t push. BREATH! Take it eay. Don’t stress yourself.

Me: Anything more… or anything special I need to do?

P: Cruise… don’t push… don’t get anxious.

So, is the advice obvious or not?

I need to stop pushing myself. Stop creating anxiety.

And, resume a practice I’ve let lapse… Swimming.

Sounds easy.

It is.. and it isn’t. Old habits die hard. New ones are even harder to keep in place.

But I know from experience that when I follow the advice pain gives me.. the pain will leave.

IF I don’t… it will get worse.

Far, far worse.

That’s an incentive!!