Beyond the Pain

Shrink Wrap, Too

That first session with Bonnie consisted of the usual questions. How long have you been crazy? Seriously, though. Questions about my psychological history. My car ‘accident’. My relationships. The usual.

After fifty five minutes Bonnie said, “We need to wrap this up. Let’s schedule the next session in two weeks. Same time?”

“Sure”, I said. As if I had nothing to do but come to these sessions. Well, I didn’t. I had commited to fully engage in these sessions. To do whatever it took to get well. Well, as well as I could. I was commitmed to do the exercises. To do the work. Regardless of the pain.

And, my next session with Bonnie was indeed painful.

The session started out with the usual inquiries about how my life had been going. Then Bonnie hit me with a zinger, “What are you really afraid of Lyle”, she asked.

Um. What? Women, I thought. What I said was, “I’m really worried about going back to work at the bookstore. What if one of the customers asks me a question and I don’t know the answer? What if I screw up order taking?”

“Let’s do a role play”, Bonnie said. “I will pretend I’m a customer. Let’s see how things go. Would that be all right?”

“Sure.”

“How do you want me to act”, Bonnie said.

An excerpt from CRASH! Memories of a Healing Journey, All Rights Reserved, Lyle T. Lachmuth

Shrink Wrap

I have a love/hate relationship with my memories of Bonnie.

Bonnie was the Social Worker assigned to work with me by the C.A.R. Program. I first met with her [date]. A chunky, fortyish brunette she came into the reception area and called my name. She escorted me to her office. Sat down behind her desk. And, asked me to close her door. Behind her desk was a bookshelf crowded with with books and papers. On a credenza next to her chair sat framed pictures of an orange tabby cat.

“My name is Bonnie. I am a Social Worker. I am going to be working with you. Do you have any questions”, she said.

“Yes. I am curious about why I am seeing a Social Worker”, I said.

“Well. You know how you had the support of the folks at C.E.T. This is an extension of that support,” she said.

“What do you mean C.E.T.?”

“Oh. Right, Acronyms. C.E.T. Stands for Community Extenstion Team. Those are the Social Workers who are supporting you right now by accompanying you to appointments with your psychiatrist, for example.”

“Oh. You mean Nancy”, I said.

“Yes, Nancy”, she said.

“My role is to help you in the transtion from the hospital to your regular life. But, I won’t be providing physical support like the folks at C.E.T. Mine is to provide psychological support”, she said.

And, Bonnie did. Sort of.

An excerpt from CRASH! Memories of a Healing Journey, All Rights Reserved, Lyle T. Lachmuth