Which is Worse?
I just had the delightful experience of 7 days without the pain of Fibromyalgia.
I attribute the experience to sunshine, sunshine, sunshine, heat, and dry weather.
Then last night we got word of a big system moving in. Thunder. Tons of rain. Cold, well at least relatively.
The air pressure plunged. The humidity soared. The wind screamed. The rain was horizontal. And, when I went to be I was fine — very, very tired but in no pain.
Then I woke at 2 a.m and the first thing I noticed was the PAIN.
My legs ached. My arms ached. My butt ached.
Then the pain grew. Soon IT was back. The screaming, crushing, blinding, PAIN.
When IT returns I am almost always devastated.
And, I have to work on THAT. That feeling. That emotion.
I’ve learned that focusing on the emotion only makes the pain worse.
So, I find ways not to think about the devastation.
I pray.
I recite my code word. This is a word I developed in my work with Energy Therapist Joan Hitlin.
Still though my little brain grinds.
Somehow, it FEELS like the pain that comes after days of NO pain is WORSE.
Maybe it’s the contrast. Maybe it’s just my imagination.
But, still it sucks.
And, I must get back to work on my attitude and my emotions.
I just wish the fucker would go away. Or, I could take a PILL.
But, I must do The Work.
RATS!
